fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
