I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My ass is underappreciated
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
