4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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