By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
