There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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