Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
