Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
