im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
