Define "chronic" masturbator.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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