So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
