is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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