This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
