you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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