Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
