i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
