Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
