I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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