I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
