Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
