i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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