FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
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