They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
