Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
