Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
