well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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