Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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