people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
