Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
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