Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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