I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
