I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
