dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
