she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
