the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
