Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
