I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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