so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize