AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
