Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
