I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
