It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
