I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
