end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
