My cat gives me a boner
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
