This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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