It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
