office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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