I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
