good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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