dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
