Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
