I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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