I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
