I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
