i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
