Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
