i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
