some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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