why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
