Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
