then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize