I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
