Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
