some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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