East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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