found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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